Far and away the most important thing to say is that I am getting better. The electro-convulsive therapy is working.
But I am experiencing some side effects. Stronger than I've felt for many years; maybe because I haven't had such a long period of depression for many years. I feel quite peculiar.
It's not quite as straightforward as short-term memory loss. Though it certainly includes that. But it's an absence of brain function in a less linear sense that I can't define.
For example, yesterday I told a teenage neighbour that she was walking the wrong way to her school (she wasn't, and even if I thought she was why on earth didn't I keep my gob shut?). I also wished my best friend happy birthday when it wasn't, and almost forgot the way to Logie's nursery, a route I drive four times a week.
I feel like I'm in a dream, or have pulled an all-nighter. Everything is disjointed and bizarre. Of course, matters are slightly complicated by the fact that I am actually rather sleep deprived, so who knows what feeling I should be attributing to what cause.
Not my regular shrink, that's for sure. Yesterday he did his most blatant display ever of repeating back things I've literally just told him, but presenting them as conclusions of his own. It's quite a breathtaking habit, that leaves me looking round the room to see if anybody else witnessed it. Or maybe I am indeed mad.
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