Restless leg

There are many ailments I complain about that lots of other people have, but just soldier on with. Bad back, depression, permanently blocked nose at night. None of these will set the world on fire. But if you’re reading this, I guess you’re slightly interested.

Maybe you have one too, but inexplicably don’t write about it on the internet. Because you have better things to do with your time. But as you’re still reading, it might give you a frisson of one-upmanship to identify with something, then carry on with your much busier day.

I have this thing at the moment called restless leg. I rather like the name. A bit like tennis elbow, or housemaid’s knee. I’d quite like to invent a few of my own, eg twisting-in-car-seat-to-reach-crying-child back, or stepmother headache.

It is apparently quite common in pregnancy, and blimming annoying. I tend to get it at night, as I’m trying to drop off. Suddenly, you can’t keep your legs still. Or if you do, they sort of burn with desire to move around.

It’s like the blood in your calves is itchy. You can’t ignore it and it’s totally not restful.

My sister-in-law gave me a good tip the other day. She had it quite badly when pregnant last year. You should get up, stand by a wall, then stand up on tiptoe as high as you can go and down again. Repeat til your legs are knackered. Fall back into bed. Try to go to sleep before it starts again.

This sort of works. Sometimes I try a cheat version and just lie in bed pointing my toes hard then bending them back again. (Remember ‘good toes, naughty toes’ at ballet when you were little? I have very few ballet memories because I handed in my resignation quite early on, when I realised that a) my bottom was bigger than everyone else’s and b) we weren’t allowed to wear tutus until we were something stupid like 12, and could actually do ballet. What’s the point in that?)

But it doesn’t always work. So coupled with having to go to the loo at least three times during the night (for once, I’m not exaggerating) I’m not having brilliant amounts of sleep at the moment.

However, it’s a very small problem in the scheme of things. I’ve just started doing a little voluntary work with Cancer Research recently, so am catching up with ‘Stand Up To Cancer’ that was on Channel 4 on Friday. Watching their appeal films puts an awful lot into perspective.

Can you imagine if your child, your small person into whom you pour so much love, and would do anything for, got a life-threatening illness? And if the treatment that might or might not treat them actually made them iller and in more pain in the short term? I find it unbearable to think about, though once I start I can’t stop.

So if you want to donate, to fund new research and turn it into readily available treatments more speedily, you can do so here. It’s money well spent, and good for addressing restless night-time worries.